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June 25 2018

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Newton's Trajectories
With just one extra line, he could have anticipated the 2003 film The Core, but some things are too audacious for even the greatest visionaries.

June 22 2018

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Update Notes
v3.0.2: Hey, if anyone still using this app is headed to the beach, can you stop at 4th and River St and grab the sunscreen from my car? Trunk should be unlocked. Thanks!

June 20 2018

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Hertzsprung-Russell Diagram
The Hertzsprung-Russell diagram is located in its own lower right corner, unless you're viewing it on an unusually big screen.

June 18 2018

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Irony Definition
Can you stop glaring at me like that? It makes me feel really ironic.

June 15 2018

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Brookhaven RHIC
"Buddy, you trying to pull something? I can't buy this gold--all the electrons are missing. I could face serious charges!"

June 13 2018

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Customer Rewards
We'll pay you $1.47 to post on social media about our products, $2.05 to mention it in any group chats you're in, and 11 cents per passenger each time you drive your office carpool past one of our billboards.

June 11 2018

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Attention Span
I didn't even realize they MADE a novelization of "Surf Ninjas." How did you-- Oh my god, it's signed by the author?!

June 08 2018

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Sun and Earth
But we don't need to worry about the boiling masses sandwiching the thin layer in which we live, since we're so fragile and short-lived that it's unlikely to kill us before something else does! Wait, why doesn't that sound reassuring?

June 06 2018

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Presidential Succession
Ties are broken by whoever was closest to the surface of Europa when they were born.

June 04 2018

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LeBron James and Stephen Curry
The 538TR attempts to capture a player's combined skill at basketball (either real-life or NBA 2K18) and election forecasting.

June 01 2018

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Clickbait-Corrected p-Value
When comparing hypotheses with Bayesian methods, the similar 'clickbayes factor' can account for some harder-to-quantify priors.

May 30 2018

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xkcd Phone 2000
Our retina display features hundreds of pixels per inch in the central fovea region.

May 28 2018

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Selection Effect
fMRI testing showed that subjects who don't agree to participate are much more likely to escape from the machine mid-scan.

May 25 2018

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GDPR
By clicking anywhere, scrolling, or closing this notification, you agree to be legally bound by the witch Sycorax within a cloven pine.

May 23 2018

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Business Update
Our customers keep sending us their personal information, even though we've repeatedly asked them to stop. The EU told me I'm the heir to some ancient European throne that makes me exempt from the GDPR, but we should probably still try to fix that.

May 21 2018

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Morning News
Support your local paper, unless it's just been bought by some sinister hedge fund or something, which it probably has.

May 18 2018

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MC Hammer Age
Wait, sorry, I got mixed up--he's actually almost 50. It's the kid from The Karate Kid who just turned 40.

May 16 2018

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Repairs
I was just disassembling it over the course of five hours so it would fit in the trash more efficiently.

May 14 2018

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Fatal Crash Rate
Fixating on this seems unhealty. But in general, the more likely I think a crash is, the less likely one becomes, which is a strange kind of reverse placebo effect.

May 11 2018

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SafetySat
During launch, in the event of an unexpected sensor reading, SafetySat will extend prongs in all directions to secure itself and any other cubesats safely in the launch vehicle until the source of the problem can be determined.
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